WIN Hitman: Absolution Professional Edition [CLOSED]

[DomsBeard]

Can I add another?

Whoever decided to put multiplayer in Dead Space 2. Should've put all those resources into making the last chapters brilliant not absolutely painful with a regeneration prickomorph

[Alex79]

I'd hit Peter Molyneux.

Fable 2 was one of my favourite games and I was so excited to pick up Fable 3 on release day, and found it the most crushingly disappointing game of all time. I traded it in after a couple of hours play.

I wouldn't just hit him though. First I'd go back to Uni and learn a skill that secured me a job at his studio, and over time I'd weasel my way closer to him, maybe pick him up his favourite sandwich on the way in to work now and then. I'd invite him for drinks after work, and strike up a real friendship with him. We'd connect on a deep psychological level after I put years of work in to mirroring his body language, thoughts and opinions. Eventually the two of us would become inseparable. People would talk, sniggers would be stifled, elbows would be nudged and eyebrows raised. But it would be a platonic love. The kind of love only two grown men can share. Over the next decade or so we'd become regular visitors to each others homes, we'd holiday together, eat Christmas dinners with each others families and yes, occasionally shower together. He'd be the godfather to my children, and I his.

One day Peter would confess his love to me. A forbidden love that dare never speak its name. I would tell him I felt the same. The weeks would pass, and our closeness would reach new levels as we went on camping trips and shared laughs around the fire, and yes, maybe brief moments of intimacy. Eventually Peter would beg me to leave my life, for us to run away together, to make a new life in a new town. I'd agree. We'd plan it all down to the last detail, we'd leave a letter for our wives, telling them everything. That we'd discovered something about ourselves that we'd been keeping repressed for years. That we finally felt free to be true to ourselves. We'd arrange to meet on a darkened train platform on the edge of town. It would be raining. Peter would get there first, and wait.

And then he'd wait. And wait. Until eventually, with tears streaming down his frozen cheeks he'd reach in to the pocket of his waterproof jacket and retrieve his ringing phone. And then, with a tremor of longing in his heart, he'd hear my voice. And I'd say, "Peter. This was all a lie. This was for Fable 3, you bastard".

And then I would jump out from behind a bush, and punch him square on the nose.

[ratsoalbion]

Thanks everybody!
Winner TBA later today (Tuesday).

[Sly Reflex]

Gah. I'm late, I didn't even see this. I'll enter just for the fun.

I'd like to punch Donald Trump so hard that I knock the orange off his skin and make those stupidly white teeth pop out. The man is a monstrous puss filled wart on the cock end of humanity.

[James]

I'm chuckling my way through some of these entries right now. Can't wait to see who Leon picks.

[Roy42]

I feel I could've done a lot better.

[ratsoalbion]

I enjoyed reading these, thanks to all who entered.

The Wizard of Odd - a winner is you.
NB: Although the time stamp says otherwise (probably a Daylight Savings issue) I assure you all that this entry was in before the deadline.

It might not be the one I agree with the most but Odd's was my favourite yarn.
Special commendation for Fury Ace's spectacular ire aimed at minor celebrities.

Wizard of Odd - please PM me and iwatttfodiwwfa your postal address ASAP!

[strickenmcq]

Well done The Wizard of Odd amusing post.

[JaySevenZero]

A little off topic perhaps but the board time settings are correct, the problem is that each profile has the option to have daylight savings enabled or disabled and some still have it enabled which leads them to have incorrect times on their posts.

As an admin I'll correct the settings to any of those I come across.

[furyac3]

Well played Wizard of Odd well played !

Right am off to twitter to give Bradbury and Lee a verbal kickin for costing me the comp F**KIN twats lol

[James]

I couldn't agree more with Leon's chosen winner. There were several good entries, but Wizard Of Odd's brought the biggest smile to my face, as extreme as it was!
As Leon said, PM your address and I'll dispatch as quickly as Peter Molyneux will dispatch a restraining order if he ever reads that post.

[DomsBeard]

Well done!!!

[NokkonWud]

The correct answer was actually Xantiriads, but people know how I feel about her and that party already.

However I wasn't voting!

Congratulations to the winner and a thanks to all the entrants.

[ratsoalbion]

I'm not sure that punching Thatcher on the nose in '75 would have changed anything. In fact it may have made her even more determined!

[Alex79]

Ah brilliant, thanks! Only thing I've ever won in my life (although I came 4th in the dads race at my daughters sports day last summer...)

Cheers!

[dezm0nd]

Hooorah! Congratulations!

[Darn Ragnar]

Well done Wizard of Odd. That was a great post.

[Alex79]

Thanks all, and as luck would have it, a nice day off work ill perfectly coincided with the swift delivery of the game!



I can assure you I am a lot more pleased than my face is letting on, haha. Thanks Cane And Rinse!!

[ratsoalbion]

Excellent. It's entirely down to our own James Carter that we had a copy to give away.
Bless his little cottons.

[NokkonWud]

Congratulations, hope you enjoy the game .