Mental Health

[ReprobateGamer]

Vent away! Being able to voice a concern somewhere that you consider safe I think is very helpful

I am going to point you towards mentalhealthgaming.com and most particularly their discord which has a dedicated channel purely to post a rant into!

And I'm with you on the expectations of people expecting thatthe choice to have a good time is to go out on the lash. There was a point 20 years ago where that was true - but I'm older, poorer, live further away from my workplace and have a family. People have different interests and it's not your failing if they do not understand that.

I wonder as well, if I'm not overstepping, if there is something you can do to ease your workload a little - it sounds like you are putting more into the job than your employer necessarily should expect ...

[Alex79]

Thanks man, I'll definitely check out that link, appreciate it.

Yeah, I'm the same, 20-25 years ago I was partying every weekend, and most week nights. Doing all-nighters week in, week out, go out on a Wednesday, manage to get home on a Sunday, but I just don't want to any more. I don't like going out, these days if someone asks me to the pub or something, or worse still a night out "in town", genuinely my first feeling is anxiety at the thought of it.

And re: work, unfortunately I'm in a job where overworking seems to be seen as a badge of honour amongst colleagues. Little jokes like, "who has time for a break?" if you say you're going to the shop or something. Higher management are full of the right words, like preventing burnout and looking after yourself etc, but that just doesn't work on a daily basis. I will say I love my job, I had to work hard to get it and I want to be doing it, but the work ethic culture is just bad.

[Alex79]

I did something I never thought I'd do last week. It feels kind of embarrassing talking about it, and it's not something I feel like I could tell someone 'in real life', although I know it's wrong to think like that.

I texted the Samaritans. We had a conversation over the course of the evening. I don't really know what I expected from them, but it wasn't really what I was expecting, if that even makes sense. I felt lower than low, and had spent a good while before that researching fatal overdose amounts, with more than likely no intention of going through with such a thing, but that was where my head was at.

All I can say is speaking with them helped, for that evening at least. It's been up and down since then, and I don't know who needs to hear this, but I would say to anyone who's feeling the need to to do, give them a call. It might only be a few hours reprieve, but it's a reprieve all the same.

[ratsoalbion]

I sincerely hope you feel much more positive soon, Alex.
This will pass, I promise.

[Simonsloth]

Really sorry to hear what you’ve been going through but just shows what an amazing person you are that you've taken the time to share your experience with the Samaritans to help others. Hope things pick up for you.

[markfm007]

Hope things pick up for you Alex. I was in a similar position in 2016 and also called the Samaritans. That was the tipping point for me to look into talking therapy as well, which helped further. I think the main thing is to know that people are there and that you can reach out. Makes all the difference.

[Cornelius_Smiff]

I did something I never thought I'd do last week. It feels kind of embarrassing talking about it, and it's not something I feel like I could tell someone 'in real life', although I know it's wrong to think like that.

I texted the Samaritans. We had a conversation over the course of the evening. I don't really know what I expected from them, but it wasn't really what I was expecting, if that even makes sense. I felt lower than low, and had spent a good while before that researching fatal overdose amounts, with more than likely no intention of going through with such a thing, but that was where my head was at.

All I can say is speaking with them helped, for that evening at least. It's been up and down since then, and I don't know who needs to hear this, but I would say to anyone who's feeling the need to to do, give them a call. It might only be a few hours reprieve, but it's a reprieve all the same.

You shouldn't feel embarassed about it, quite the opposite in fact. This was an incredibly brave thing you did my friend in just speaking about.

I was there tail end of last beginning of this year and put a belt around my neck and testing knots on my balcony, again with a more than good chance I wouldn't have done anything. But, this is where our mind takes us in such times. I'm so glad you reached out for some help and you know that we've all got your back, and I dont mean in a hollow "well if you need to talk" that you get from most people. Legit, add me on Discord or whatever if you feel it might help to vent or even shoot the shit about comic books or gaming or randomness. We've got you buddy.

I'm so sorry youre suffering and believe me when I say this, you do have people who want to listen and do care. As much as we all might be technically strangers, for all intense and purposes we are also a community and it would be a pretty weird world without your awesome posts and insights.

Look after yourself buddy, you are a good egg.

[Alex79]

Thanks all, genuinely means a lot.

[duskvstweak]

Alex, I had to call our helpline back in 2020. I had never considered myself "suicidal" most of my life, even during the lower parts but that really changed over the past seven years. I realized I was going from feeling down to really thinking about it, and realizing I was spending too much time trying to convince myself NOT to. The best things that came from the phone call were a recommitment to getting myself back into therapy and realizing that the people who care about me don't want me to hide those feelings from them.